Monday, August 29, 2011

Why can't I be 16 again?

Drawing by Addison(dg)

My husband, who has had cardiac problems for many years is about to undergo another procedure.  We aren't sure what the outcome of the procedure will be or if a major surgery will be required.  This past several weeks has been very stressful for both of us.  My DH as you can imagine has so many thoughts, fears and worries going through his head. 

We do not live near any of our family and have basically no support system except for the two of us.  My adult children do not live near us and with their lives we don't want them to feel obligated to help us. 

The problem is that I don't drive any longer and haven't for 10 yrs.  My husband can drive us the two hours to the hospital but won't be able to drive us back.  Whether he stays in the hospital after the heart cath or is able to come home that night he won't be able to drive.  This is a major dilemma.

I decided I would take the driver's exam, written portion,  and get a permit so I could drive us home.  My DH would be the licensed driver supervising me, right?  This is how it worked when I was 16. I should add my husband has expressed many reservations about my idea.  Ha. 

I have been studying the drivers manual on-line and planned to take the written test this Wednesday and be able to drive on Friday when the procedure may occur.  Hubby is procrastinating with calling the clinic to confirm the date.  Anyway, I am off topic.  That happens frequently.    During my studying yesterday I read that permits are granted for first time drivers only under the age of 18.  Isn't that a crock?  That blew my plans right out of the water.  Yes, as you are probably thinking I have been concerned about my ability to drive and to drive that far.  My major problems when I quit driving were my coordination, memory, anxiety and fatigue.  Have these disappeared?  No, but they have improved.  There are so many variables here.  I know it is probably for the best. 

We so want to be able to rely on ourselves without troubling others.   We are facing a new chapter in our lives.  My DH is going to be filing for disability and we need to face the changes we may be required to make to live as independently as we can.

Excuse me for the jumble of thoughts.  I just needed to write them down.

1 comment:

  1. hi kelli,
    this must be so difficult for you and your darling.
    but people are not islands, we do all need others, its difficult to ask for help.
    its good to ask for everyone involved, i think it would be good to ask your kids make them feel part o your life.
    i will be thinking of you.


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