Thursday, April 23, 2009

Beauty Beyond the Window

I just happened by my window today and saw the beauty of the redbud tree. I am not sure I can explain my feelings at that moment but I shall give it a shot.

I think those of us living with MS or any other chronic illness or disability feel like we are watching life passing us by. It is like watching the world through a window. Am I having a down day? Yes.

I am currently dealing with the daily struggles of MS and all its bumps and curves in the road. Most days I manage to handle it all in stride to the best of my ability. There is always a disclaimer with MS isn't there? We do live day to day if not moment to moment.

Stress as we all know plays such a tremendous role in our lives and with our disease. At this moment I feel like I am behind that window looking out and it is impenetrable. Where is my hammer or a big rock when I need them? The problem with breaking the window, is it is just an illusion in my mind. I hate being emotionally locked out and being at a loss as to what to do. I was always a fixer. Now I would like to be fixed.

This disease certainly doesn't make so called normal life issues any easier to cope with.

I think I will walk out my door and go sit under that redbud tree and wait for guidance, inspiration or just enjoy the beautiful purple blossoms. Thank God for doors.

1 comment:

  1. Kelli...yes, thank God for doors.
    You put it better than anyone ever could have...our life is on the wrong side of this window much too often. ANd sometimes walking thru that door is jsut too difficult. With the strngth and willingness of our soul, we manage to get out somehow.
    You are an inpiration to my life. You help me to see the brightmess in things when all I see is darkness. I believe you ahve helped keep from that monster of depression....Thank you so much for all that you are! ♥♥♥ Many hugs and lots of Love.. Conni


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